You know what really grinds my gears?

I rarely get road rage. I do however get pissed off, and yell, at retards who should have their drivers licenses taken away from them. Normally, driving conditions are bad enough in Phoenix (1 drop of rain = a 25mph to 45mph slowdown in traffic). But the rules change this time of year. Oh yeah – it’s snowbird season.

snow·bird (sno’bûrd’) n.
1. Any of several birds, such as the junco and the snow bunting, common in snowy regions.
2. Slang. One who moves from a cold to a warm place in the winter. 

Every year, people migrate to sunny Phoenix/Scottsdale for 5-6 months in order to get out of the cold weather east coast and the midwest (especially the midwest). And considering that this is more or less a 5-6 month vacation, this group is comprised entirely of crusty, oxygen tank weilding, hard of hearing, legally blind, old folks. Each of whom happen to take a trip to the casino at the exact same time that you are headed to work, from work, or anywhere else.

They are always there to cut in front of you. To change lanes without signaling, causing you to slam on the brakes. To make a right turn into the 2^nd lane and cut back into the first – not more than 10 feet in front of you, while you are travelling at a brisk 45mph (and the limiters on their cars kick in at 15). To not make a right turn at a stoplight until the light turns green (yeah, you’re right behind them)… Should I really continue?

Ok. To always, regardless of weather, travel 10mph slower than any speed limit (or 15-20mph slower than the rest of the traffic). To not know where they are at and cut across 3 lanes of traffic to make a left turn, only to realize that it was the wrong place to turn at, then cut back into traffic. To really fucking irritate me.

2 words: Go Fucking Home.

UPDATE: On my way home today, I saw the worst offender yet this year. Coming out of the Marriott, and waiting at a stop light, was an elderly couple in a Buick (surprise!) on the wrong side of the road!!! Yes, they were waiting in the left hand lane of a north-bound street, heading south-bound. I did a double take to make sure it wasn’t my eyes deceiving me… Nope, there they were. Un-freaking-believable! This street is divided by a median and everything!

*I need to let loose here sometimes, otherwise I will be this frustrated, pissed off, wreck of a man day in and day out. Thanks for reading. Yarsh appreciates you.